Twists to Twists, Still No Comb

Hi all. I apologize for my recent absence. My computer decided it was finished working for me, so that was that. But now we're back, and I wanted to give you a hair update from these past few weeks.

The last time I posted about Syd's hair, I showed you how I created this twist style without using a comb to detangle between styles.

Well here it is, a month after first doing that simple twist style, and I still haven't used a comb on Syd's hair. Sounds crazy, huh? Here's what we've done.

After a week, the twists I mentioned above were looking pretty rough...we never get much more than that out of such thick twists. So I removed the twists one at a time, used my fingers to gently detangle and remove shed hair, sprayed the hair with plain water, added a bit of styling product, and then made a new twist out of each of the tendrils that resulted from the previous twist coming out. Does that make sense? Basically, each twist became 2 twists. Her hair went from this:

To this:

The new set of twists lasted about a week and a half. They didn't look horrible yet, but I knew it would be another week before I could devote some time to Syd's hair, so I figured I'd be proactive and style while I had the chance.

It had been a few weeks since her hair had been washed with shampoo, so she shampooed her twists before I styled them. Then I did the exact same thing I had done before: remove one twist at a time, detangle with my fingers, spray with water, add product, turn each old twist into 2 new ones. Here's what that process looked like.

10 day old twists, after being shampooed earlier in the day:

2 old twists becoming 4 smaller new ones:

The end result:

We're just about 2 weeks into these latest twists, and they're not looking too bad at all. I'm pretty sure we'll keep them for another week....I'll let you know!

So in the last several weeks, Syd has gone from cornrows to big twists to medium twists to small twists....all without a comb touching her hair. And this means little to no damage caused by detangling and styling. Can't beat it!

Twists and Keeping Damage to a Minimum

After 12 years of styling Syd's hair, I've gotten pretty good at minimizing damage as much as possible. However, now that Syd is taking over a lot of the detangling, we're starting to see some damage at the ends. We're definitely going to have to trim the ends very soon to get rid of all that damage.

But that's ok!

We all know that learning to properly care for curly hair takes time. Be careful not to expect too much from your child as she learns to take care of her own hair...I know I did my fair share of damage over the years. But with patience and practice, I have learned several little tips and tricks that help keep damage to a minimum.

This post is going to focus on one of those tips...and here it is: Since we weren't shampooing between styles, we moved from one style to another without a comb touching Syd's hair!

When I took down Syd's latest cornrow style, I removed the cornrows on 1/4 of her hair at a time. After I removed those cornrows, I put that quarter of her hair into one big loose braid to keep it detangled. When I had removed the entire style, we were left with this:

We then focused on one of those sections at a time. I tied three of the braids up out of the way and started with the back left section. I removed that braid and used my fingers to gently detangle the entire section. Remember, I braided this hair immediately after removing the cornrows, so there really weren't any tangles. The best way to keep detangling easy is to prevent the tangles in the first place. This finger detangling was done mostly to remove the loose strands that were shed while her hair had been in the last style.

I decided to start in the very back of Syd's hair, so I used my fingers to separate out a section of hair at Syd's nape. I just clipped the rest up and out of the way for a minute.

Since I like to do twists on hair that is slightly damp, I misted this piece of hair with plain water in a spray bottle. I then added just a bit of styling product, ran my fingers through her hair to distribute the product evenly, and started twisting.

In order to make sure the twists last as long as possible, it's important to twist as tightly as possible. It's tempting to rush it and not twist as tight, but the twists loosen up on their own. If you don't start off with a very tight twist, you will end up with very loose twists that will quickly become frizzy. In the two pictures below, you can see how tightly I twisted this section of hair, and then how it loosened up the minute I let go.

The twist while I was holding it

See how it got looser after I let go? It will loosen/plump up even more as it dries completely.

And then I repeated that process 33 more times as I moved through the rest of her hair.

In the end, we have a head full of great looking twists and my fingers were the only tools used. No brush, no comb, no damage. =)

Hair Care in Winter

See that? That picture is proof that winters where we live aren't always nice to us. Snow shovels, boots, and lots of layers are necessities. So are changes to our hair care routine.

Some people completely change the way they take care of their hair every time the season changes. Luckily, Syd's hair isn't that particular, but we do still need to make a few changes to keep her locks at their best. I thought I'd share those little changes in case you find yourself working with a head of unhappy hair this winter.

1. Less Shampoo, More Co-washes
 During the spring, summer and fall, Syd shampoos her hair about once per week and co-washes if needed in between. During the winter, we step up the co-washes to at least once per week and reduce shampoo washes to just once ever two or three weeks.

2. Extra Moisture
Winter air is cold and dry. As a result, Syd's hair needs more moisture during the winter months. We just add a daily leave-in before she leaves for school in the morning, paying extra attention to the ends.

3. More Protective Styles
We keep Syd's hair in more protective styles in the winter than we do during the rest of the year. These styles include cornrows, box braids, and twists. She almost never wears a wash-n-go style in the winter and twist/braid outs are rather rare during those months, as well. Manipulating her strands as little as possible is a big part of keeping her hair happy during those cold, dry months.

4. Choose Hats Wisely
When the temperatures dip down below the freezing mark, hats become necessary. But this doesn't mean your hair has to suffer. There are some amazing satin lined hats out there. Unfortunately, they often cost more than I am willing to pay. But a few years ago, I came up with a cheap and easy fix. I bought a satin sleep bonnet at Walgreens and sewed it into the inside of Syd's hat. It didn't look perfect, but let's face it...nobody ever looks at the inside of someone else's hat!

These few little tricks are usually all it takes to keep Syd's hair soft, happy, and healthy all winter long. If you have any other tips or tricks, be sure to comment and share your info with me and other readers!

Syd Gives Herself a Braid Out

By now, Syd has become a pro when it comes to washing and detangling her hair without assistance from Mom. Unfortunately, she's not able to do many styles on her own. We decided to work on that and Syd did a braid out by herself for the first time.

She started by removing her Breast Cancer Awareness style. It had been in for about a week and a half and was very fuzzy. Her hair was still clean and didn't have any build up, so we moved straight from one style to the other without a wash in between.

I told her not to remove the entire style right away. She has a lot of hair and I thought it would be easier to work in sections, so she started by only removing the back section of the style. Then she split the back in half, putting the left part into a big loose braid to keep it out of the way. She focused on the back right section of hair first.

Now I had her divide that section of her hair into fourths again so that there will be four braids made out of this section. Just before braiding each section, she dampened it with a spray bottle and added a bit of Curls Creme Brule. Then she finger detangled, ran her denman through the section to distribute the product evenly, and braided it up. I stressed to her that she needed to start the braid as close to her scalp as possible and keep the braid tight all the way down.

Before long, that back right section was in four braids.

She did the same thing to the back right section and then moved up to the top, where the process was the same.

After what she said felt like forever (although the whole thing took less time than I expected), she put the last braid in.

She slept in those braids and removed them before school the next morning. I didn't get pictures of the removal process. We were a little rushed getting ready for the day, but she got the braids out while keeping most of the definition.

Since she had a hard time getting some of the braids close to her scalp, her roots were pretty fuzzy. She pulled the front half up, secured it with an ouchless band, and headed off to school.

Braid out success!

Attack of the Killer Hairbrush

We'll get to the above picture in a minute. First, let's play pretend. 

Picture this: You decide to grow a flower garden. You spend hours learning about which flowers will work best with the soil, temperatures, and amount of sunlight they will get in the new garden. You purchase all the tools you will need, you order high-priced seeds and plant food, and you even buy the perfect garden accessories to decorate your new garden. In time, you see the little seedlings start popping up from the soil and you get very excited.

About a month later, the plants are standing tall and have budding flowers at their tips. When you see this, you go to your garage and grab a rake. You take your rake over to the flower garden, drag the rake back and forth across the flowers without reason, and return the rake to its place in the garage. The following weekend, as you stand back and assess the state of your garden, you wonder why your flowers aren't as tall and pretty as the flowers in your neighbor's garden.

Sounds crazy, doesn't it? But that's exactly what some people do do their hair!

People go out of their way to buy the best products for their hair. They pay close attention to every single ingredient. And they make sure to even have the perfect looking accessories. But many people seem to forget that, like flowers, your hair needs to be handled with care. Raking through your tresses with a brush or comb will damage your hair just like the rake damaged the flowers in the illustration above.

I know it can be frustrating to have a head full of coils staring you down at the end of a long day. You're tired. You just want to relax. We've all been there. But that doesn't mean the right choice is to run a brush through those curls as fast as you can in an attempt to finish as quickly as possible. That may get that particular detangling session finished faster, but at what cost?

Tearing though your hair causes damage, plain and simple. And damaged hair actually becomes more difficult to detangle in the future because the damaged ends catch on the neighboring strands. This means even MORE detangling, and if you don't detangle gently it means even MORE damage. It's a vicious cycle.

I personally know people who spend a fortune on hair care products for themselves and/or their children in the search for something that will make their hair feel healthier and grow faster. But then they tear their hair to shreds with a brush. No product in the world can protect your strands from the ferocious attack of the killer hairbrush.

What you can use to fight off the damage caused by rough brushing is GENTLENESS. If your hair is tangled, be patient with it. Get it wet and load it up with conditioner. Use your fingers to separate those intertwined curls as much as possible before you reach for your comb or brush. Sure, you have to invest a little more time, but it's sooo worth it!

To see a head of hair being detangled gently, check out this post about detangling by the lovely and wise Miss A from Beads Braids & Beyond.

One more thing to remember: If you release your frustration onto your daughter's hair and start using a brush like a rake, you will likely cause pain for your child. And if hair time becomes something that your child dreads, how will she ever learn to embrace the beautiful curls she was born with? Your child's attitude is greatly influenced by yours, so take your time, detangle gently, and turn hair time into a time of bonding while you teach your daughter how to properly take care of those curls.

Healthy Hair Becomes Longer Hair

The question I get asked most often is some variation of:
"How can I get my (or my daughter's) hair as long as Syd's?"

Unfortunatley, there is no magic formula, cream, or pill. The best advice I can give is to make sure your hair is moisturized and stop being so rough with it.

Dried out hair is more fragile and more likely to break off. Make sure you are keeping those strands nice and moisturized. At this point, I'm sure several of you are thinking, "What products should I use?"

That's actually the second most frequently asked question I receive. I could tell you what products we use most often on Syd's hair, but that might not help. Every head of hair is different. It's a process of trial and error until you find the products you like best for your own hair. Does something make your hair feel dry by the end of the day? If so, I'd suggest moving on and trying something new. If your hair seems too weighed down, go for something a little lighter. It can be frustrating as you search for the "perfect" product or combination of products, but once you discover what works for you, it's smooth sailing and happy hair. (For the record, we use Bee Mine Luscious Moisturizer and Aussie Moist conditioner more often than any others for moisture.)

The number one reason that hair seems to stop getting any longer is because it is breaking off just as fast (and sometimes faster!) than it is growing. Ripping a brush or comb through your hair is a great way to ensure that it breaks off and negates the length retention you're striving for.

Be gentle. Take your time. Use your fingers to separate your tangled hair as much as possible. Be mindful of how often you are putting beads, barrettes, and rubber bands on the ends of the hair. You don't have to completely eliminate those things, but consistently using them  on a daily basis will contribute to breakage (read: lack of length).

And of course, genetics also play a part in the length of your hair. Some heads of hair grow much faster than others. There is also something called terminal length. This is the length that is reached when each strand ends the growing stage in the growth cycle (called the anagen phase). When a strand reaches the end of that stage, it remains dormant for a while before shedding on its own. Someone whose hair grows slower than average and has a fairly short-lived anagen stage won't be able to grow their hair as long as someone who has a faster growth rate and longer growth cycle.

I think the most important part of growing your hair is to make sure your hair remains healthy by staying moisturized and as undamaged as possible. Learn to embrace your healthy strands, no matter what their length. And in time, healthy hair will become longer hair.

Hand over the Hair Care

Moms with curly girls put a lot of effort into keeping the hair healthy and looking good. But let's face it - there will come a time when these girls are going to be washing, detangling, and even styling their own hair. 

Several years ago, the mere thought of trying to teach Syd to care for her own hair was overwhelming. She has so much hair on her head, and it can even take me a long time to wash, detangle, and style it. How would she ever be able to do this herself?

Then she got a little older (9, maybe?) and I knew it was time to really start teaching her to help care for her own hair. I can't do it for her forever. I figured I'd teach her in steps, starting in the beginning...washing. I wanted to share some methods we've tried, problems we've encountered, and solutions we've come up with in this rather lengthy (sorry!) post.

When she first tried washing her own hair, she had a lot of trouble getting the shampoo all the way to her scalp where her hair is thickest. So then I had to get creative. We got an applicator bottle with a nozzle - I actually used a picnic-style squeezable ketchup bottle for a while - and filled it with a 50-50 mix of shampoo and water. This thinned the shampoo out a little and she was able to stick the nozzle of the bottle right where she needed it on her scalp. It worked like a charm! There wasn't a thick mass of curls to come between the shampoo and the scalp. She has since been able to move on from using that bottle and has become a pro at shampooing her scalp.

We tried many times to have her wash her hair while it was in 6 loose braids, which was something I did from time to time to prevent tangling back when I was still shampooing her hair. I found that she wasn't always able to rinse the shampoo completely from the braids, so we scrapped that idea and moved on to the routine we are currently using. Here is what our ever-changing routine looks like at the moment:

1) I remove a style, lightly detangling and removing shed hair as I go.

2) Syd separates her hair into a right half and a left half, no straight part required. She loosely braids each half without using anything to secure the ends. It's ok if the braid isn't perfect or if it unravels a little...the purpose of the braid is just to prevent as much tangling.

3) Syd washes her hair in the shower. She unravels the braid on one side, shampoos and rinses, then rebraids it and repeats the process on the other side.

4) She goes back to the first side, removes the braid, adds conditioner, uses a shower comb with very wide teeth to gently comb it through her hair, starting at the ends and moving up. She rebraids with the conditioner still in her hair and repeats the process on the other side.

*The unbraiding and rebraiding might seem to be a bit redundant. We tried having her condition each side right after she washed it, but found that most of the conditioner from side 1 would be rinsed away when she was rinsing the shampoo out of side 2. So the longer, more drawn out process seems to work best for us - for now, anyway.

5) After her shower, she still has 2 braids and a fully loaded head of conditioner. We divide each half into 3 or 4 sections and work together to detangle each small section, putting each one in a loose braid when we are done with it. By the time we are finished, we have 6-8 loose braids that are detangled and ready to be rinsed.

6) We then rinse the conditioner from her hair while it is still in the braids and she's ready for styling. It's ok if a bit of conditioner is still there after rinsing...we think of it as a little extra leave-in!

This process, when written out, seems like it would take forever but it really doesn't take much longer than when I was doing it all myself. The more she gets used to doing her part, and the better she gets at preventing tangling as she washes, the faster it goes. And if we're short on time, she just shampoos, rebraids, and gets out of the shower. I'll add a leave-in as I detangle and then do a quick style. Nothing is ever set in stone at my house!

Syd can also do her own 2-strand twists, although I do the back part because she can't see what she's doing and she tends to leave a few random strands out as she goes. She'll get there. She also has mastered the art of gently removing braids and twists for braid outs and twist outs.

Here is what her current style looks like now. She took the twists out this morning so she could have a curly ponytail.

Notice the short sleeves...come on Spring! :)