Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Thursday, October 4, 2012

Hair Comments From Others: A Lesson

If you or your child have a head full of curly natural hair, I'm sure you've probably been on the receiving end of an unsolicited comment or two. Right? A simple scan of facebook or any of the natural hair care forums that are out there makes it clear that there is no shortage of remarks from others about someone's chosen hair style. Let me share our most recent experience with a comment about a style.

Remember the above style that I showed you last week? Syd had her hair in that style at one of her cross country meets and her teammates actually told her (while I was sitting right there with them) that she looked like A HORSE!

At first, I was angry. Then I was sad for Syd. I wanted to tell those girls exactly what I thought about their rude comments.

But then, Syd taught me a lesson.

She was laughing. So were the other girls. And the conversation had shifted almost immediately to talk of actual horses. I sat quietly and thought about it for a minute. And you know what? The style really DOES resemble a horse. Hair to one side in the front, just like a mane, and longer hair in the center of the back, just like a tail.

Syd saw the heart of the horse comparison and realized there was no malice intended. It was a random observation by a 12 year old girl who would never say anything to hurt her friends.

My knee-jerk reaction to be offended was probably the result of my previous experiences with judgmental, spiteful people and the hurtful comments I've heard before. In the past, people have made cruel, hurtful remarks about Syd's hair...especially when she chooses to wear it as big as she can get it. I guess I must have become a little jaded by those remarks, which caused me to automatically become defensive on the inside.

That kind of reaction isn't fair. We need to see everyone through grace-filled eyes. We need to see the heart of what someone says, not simply assume the worst and react accordingly. When we feel that someone is being rude, we should stop and think for just a moment. I know our first instinct is to defend ourselves and our loved ones at all times, but is it possible that sometimes we make something out of nothing? I know I'll definitely think twice the next time I think someone's comments are out of line. And this definitely goes for life in general, not just when a comment about physical appearance is made.

Thank you Syd, for being confident and rational in that moment. Thank you for being wise beyond your years. And thank you for teaching us adults a little something about demonstrating grace for others.

Friendly Disclaimer: This will probably be the ONLY time I'll be okay with someone telling my baby she looks like a horse. Please refrain from comparing her to animals in the future...unless said animal is cute and cuddly and adorable. hehe :)


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